Aging can be frightening. Seniors are typically afraid of the unknown, such as losing their freedom and the long-term consequences of significant medical conditions.
This concern may be one of the reasons why many seniors are hesitant to seek help and are even suspicious about any anxiety problems they develop. It can be excruciating to see your parents make risky decisions.
The transition from patient to provider causes an identity problem for many adult offspring. When elders and their adult children disagree, old family tensions and obsolete roles may resurface.
You may find yourself reverting to teenage conduct. Yet, disliking your parents for what you consider to be a lengthy pattern of poor decisions or toxic thinking.
How to persuade your parents to accept assistance?
Unfortunately, when caring for elderly parents, thoughts like yours are frequent. To alleviate the bitterness and distress that often accompany assisting older parents who refuse help, aging health care professionals propose the following methods.
- Recognize their motives
- Accept the situation as it is
- Choose your battles carefully
- Don’t be too hard on yourself
- Treat your elderly parents as adults
- Request that they do it for the children (or grandkids)
- Plan the future with them
Recognize their motives
For almost everyone, aging is a painful process. Many older adults suffer from diseases or mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Learning how to speak with an aging parent by including their feelings will help you express with them more effectively.
Recognizing how important autonomy is to your parents might also be good. Understanding the underlying causes of your parents’ conduct can help decide the best course of action for positive change.
Consider the following crucial points regarding your parents’ behavior:
- Do they act in this manner on a regular basis?
- Are they concerned about losing their freedom?
- Do they seem puzzled or do they have memory loss?
- What are some of the things people might be afraid about?
Identifying the underlying causes of your parents’ conduct can assist you in determining the best course of action for positive change.
Accept the situation as it is
Although you have your parents’ best interests at heart, they are in charge of their own lives and care alternatives. Your parents are grownups who have the authority to make judgments — even bad ones.
Accepting this reality, as difficult as it may be, can help you relax and perhaps strengthen your connection with your older parents.
Choose your battles carefully
People aren’t fond of bugs, whether it’s true or imagined. Stop urging that your parents upgrade their phones, attend a fitness class, or perform other useful but non-essential duties in the long run.
Decide which concerns are most important and concentrate on them – at least at first. Concerns about your parents’ safety, for example, should be a priority.
But keep in mind that if you don’t overload them with multiple worries at once. No matter how true they are, they are much more likely to be taken seriously.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
Roseann Vanilla of Marlton, New Jersey, a skilled family mediator, has had limited luck in supporting her aging parents who refuse help. Her father suffers from dementia, while her mother suffers from a rare blood ailment.
Despite this, her mother insisted on bringing her husband on a trip to Sicily. The most difficult part is knowing that something may have been averted, particularly in the case of my father’s dementia.
My recommendation is to avoid slamming your head into a wall too hard. There’s not much we can do occasionally except stand by, keep an eye on things, and be ready to intervene if necessary.
Treat your elderly parents as adults
While it may seem as if you and your parents have exchanged roles at times, aiding older people that refuse help is simpler when you acknowledge and appreciate them.
Keep your parents from becoming emotionally traumatized. Dealing with a resistant parent differs from interacting with an obstinate child. Older individuals should be self-sufficient.
When it comes to supporting elderly parents who refuse assistance, keep in mind that the main goal is to ensure that your parents receive the finest possible care.
When you treat your elderly parents like grownups, you’re significantly more likely to obtain great results. This applies to both basic duties, such as reminding your parents to take their meds and more difficult tasks.
Request that they do it for the children (or grandkids)
If your parents are reluctant to modify their ways for themselves, they may be willing to do so for a beloved one. A mother stopped smoking after his sister claimed that her secondhand smoke was endangering his grandchildren.
Another way to help elderly parents who refuse assistance is to be upfront about how it affects them.
Try to explain your concerns to your parent, and how they would be eased if he or she takes your suggestion.
Plan the future with them
Including your elderly dear one in plans for the future may encourage them to seek the care they require. Even if your parents have not been labeled with disease or dementia, living with memory loss of any kind can be tough for seniors.
Also, it is enough, let alone to admit. Everyone benefits from assisting your older parents in remembering crucial occasions.
Is there an upcoming family event they’d like to attend, such as a birthday, graduation, or ceremony? It should be brought up. It’s something you should talk about constantly. Take part in the fun.
To conclude, pay attention to your parents’ requirements. Even if you have their interests at heart, keep in mind that they are the ones who make the decisions in the end.
Have open discussions and find a compromise where everyone feels at ease. While ensuring that the older person or persons at the heart of the debate understand that you are speaking from a point of attention and affection.
Furthermore, there are several nonprofit organization for help and support. You can consult them for assistance so they can provide you with the essential support and guidance.
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